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The Changing Dynamics Of Dating In Nairobi


 ‘’The Happily Ever After’’ narrative seems to be a cliché to most people lately. Before you throw stones on this side, this is the reason why.

From where am seated, am lucky to have had conversations with different people across all age groups.

Over the weekend, I bumped into a friend whom I haven’t seen for a while. The last time I checked he was married with a two year old son although his was a rocky marriage, he tried to fix it, but here we are seated over a drink and he tells me that he separated with his wife, he admits that he misses his son but the marriage wasn’t working and he had to choose what he thought was the better option and he called it quits last year, however they are co-parenting.

My first question was, if he is thinking of re-marrying and he says most definitely yes, but he is now focusing on making money and will later think of remarrying.

He tells me that, dating in Nairobi has become an uphill task in itself.


Then comes Mr Y is in his late 20s, he separated with his girlfriend a few months ago after being in a ‘’Come we stay’’ sort of arrangement for 2 years. He tells me, that girl was everything He ever wanted in a wife but as fate had it , it ended Miserably.

He’s now dating an older woman, cruising around the city with her cars and occasionally taking girls his age out for drinks. Is he happy? He tells me he is so uncertain of where the ‘relationship’ if I might call it that, is heading.

During a Girls night out, it’s close to impossible to avoid the ‘’Relationship dramas’’ conversations,

Opens up the 1st lady… A married man is pursuing her, she admits she is not in love but  the fact that mr X is providing her with the luxury she can’t afford she is entertaining his advances and admits that the relationship has graduated to the next level  however there seems to be no future with whatever sort of arrangements they have… She is unable to actually define what she’s into coz she says she is still lonely and doesn’t think it’s going to last long but she concludes by saying that she’s just enjoying the privileges or rather luxury that comes with it.

The 2nd lady separated with the husband 3 years ago, the marriage was filled with infidelity accusations and she decided to walk out with her 2 sons, though she later had to seek for child support. She tells me, the hubby has been trying to woo her back but she ain’t falling into his ‘‘Cold arms’’ again so here we are, and she admits to be in a rather funny relationship with a married man, who makes her feel like a queen. However she has no plans of being married again. She actually tells me ‘’Niko na Mbaba’’

Then the bombshell of them all, She is married with kids , they actually stay with the Husband  but she admits she actually knows her husband’s ‘’ Side chic’’ but  also admits she has a rather younger boyfriend  whom they have had a thing going on to date.

They call it the city under the sun,  But day in day out the relationship dynamics in this city are changing   with a higher percentage  being  more of a give and take  Situationship.

Utatupea maoni yako kuhusu mapenzi ama, tushughulikie the high cost of living??

By Elishifa Wangechi