Transgender fashionista Letoya Jonstone has in a long post narrated how she has been having suicidal of late.
Letoya has revealed that she feels sorry for those who look up to her because she does not want anyone to be like her adding that she has gone through major scaring experience.
“When people choose to break you , They find power that can reciprocate their own emptiness. Sometimes I see youths wanting to be me but what they have no idea about is the things I have to endure for me to thrive. I have been cut open many times, And sometimes I bleed on those who never cut me ,Those are like shattered mirrors.I have been Blamed and suspected ,
I have been put through emotional and mental abuse until I almost took my own life away.” She said
Letoya revealed that she has has lost dignity because of the things she has had to do to make money adding that she has also tried to make it right but nothing has worked so far.
“I have lost dignity and worked under high powered hypocritical situations. The things we do for a dollar are worse than a sewer .
JUST PRAY YOU ARE YOU : I am way too damaged that I would never wished any child to be me. Do you even have an idea of what I have to go through to get paid ?
Have you ever received money but when you look at it , all you see is the pain and humiliation you had to endure; now I understand why they say money is not everything. TRY TO CRY UNDER WATER and you will. understand exactly what I mean. It is exhausting and chocking.
All these beauty you people get to appreciate I don’t even see . am always looking for something to fix to make these people do me right . But what if wrong is just how my life was designed ?
There is so much I wish I could write but I can’t because I have so much pain .This pain is weighing me down and I feel like taking my own life away.” She adds
While narrating her story, Letoya added that she has thought of commiting suicide on several occasions.
“I have begged , cried , tried to be nice and even stayed longer and became the most loyal , yet I am still being cut by the windows of the house I keep building.
I am trying to cry but I can’t even remove a sound. I can’t even feel my own pain. I am numb .
You are going to kill me one of these days . Someone has to do something. I fear not for someone else but for myself. My fear is that I will take my own life away because of someone keeps breaking me and wakes up like they can’t even see me dying. Dying from their own sword . I wish that those who killed ?? themselves by hanging through a rope could write to me and tell me how fast it takes to die . I am giving up on life guys . I can’t take this anymore. I am hurting so bad because I can’t get what is rightfully mine . “ she concluded