Tanzanian singer Vanessa Hau Mdee has opened up about her secret struggle with alcoholism.
In her latest episode on her podcast dubbed ‘Deep Dive with Vanessa Mdee’ the singer narrated how she sank into depression that left her battling alcoholism and anxiety.
The singer narrated how for the better part of 2019, she drank herself to sleep and asked people around her to cover up for her.
“I drank myself to sleep every night. I am not proud of it but it is my truth and I know there are people who need to hear this. I was lying to people around me to cover up and to keep the facade alive,” she narrated
Mdee who currently resides in Atlanta revealed that she has decided to open up on her struggle because she does not want to live this fake lifestyle where people look at her and assume she is perfect.
“I became a person of horrible choices. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore because I woke up every day trying to just get by and I don’t want to just get by anymore. More than ever, I had moments of anxiety and moments of depression, I had moments of I don’t know what to do next because this pressure is unnatural for a human being. And what comes after that? This may come as a shock to many because I hid it so well but I was depressed and an alcoholic. This is my truth and me letting you into this space because I don’t want to live a candy-coated life anymore. I became a robot and I have no desire to be a robot or be unhappy anymore, because that’s what I was, unhappy. I had moments of we are enjoying this, I had moments of this is fun, I had moments of this is a beautiful day.” She said
In her latest podcast the singer also revealed that she is quitting the music industry which she termed as demonic.
“I have no desire to do anything that is music industry-related, I have no desire to go to another award show, to keep up a facade, I have no desire to be a pseudo person which I truly became and I could not recognise myself anymore, Now my fans are probably asking themselves right now; Are you gonna never sing again? Are we gonna never see you perform? Let me reiterate, I love music, I love to create, I love to perform, I’m a vessel, this is what I was brought on earth to be, but maybe I was a vessel to be here in this moment to have gone through everything that I have gone through so that I can tell you most honestly the truth about things you will never hear somewhere else.” She said