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5 ways to beat Mpango wa Kando


wifeMpango wa Kando is the new sheriff in town and the society seems to have uncomfortably embraced her and her uncouth ways of slithering into pants that are not hers. Wives seem to have given up on this battle as she has portrayed herself an unbeatable match, but can we beat her at her own game? Can we have our husbands curse at the traffic, eager to get home to their wives? Here are 5 ways on how to keep your man.

Respect your man

Ego is the main make up of a man, you crack it and he’s out. Most women claim to love their men but keep belittling them and their potential even infront of friends/relatives. Your man want wants to feel like your hero, like he is the man. Unfortunately the side chicks have mastered this rope and created castles for them in their bedsitters. You want your man home? Nyenyekea and let him wear the trousers


Rock that Apron

It is said the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. You want to score? dump the manicure set and magazine and get busy in the kitchen. There is nothing as sexy as a woman who can cook. While you are busy queuing at the supermarket for shelf chapos, mpango wa kando is swinging her waist in hot pants and a see me through crop top as she spins out of this world chapatis (complete with coconut milk and carrot traces) for your eager husband who is rubbing his jeans from the show. Goddamn cook for your man or eat your dry shelf chapatis in peace.


Don’t nag

Get off his ear already. Man will swear that there is nothing as annoying as going back home to a woman who cant keep her mouth shut. Sometimes, all they need is  a little air and space. Is that too much too ask? Just so you know, mpango wa kandos best language is bubu talk, which happens to be your man’s favourite especially after a long day at work. If you have to use your mouth, use it on him not at him.